I've had numerous doctors appointments and scheduling for radiation since my last post, but I don't want to talk about that today. I'd rather talk about something fun and positive that our family was able to enjoy. We had scheduled a camping trip months before all this cancer stuff happened, so we decided to go and make the most of it. I'm glad we did because I enjoyed every minute of it! We camped at Sugar Pine Point State Park, right beside Lake Tahoe. We set up tents and lived with nature for 5 days. If you haven't visited Lake Tahoe, California, you are missing some beautiful scenery. The lake is surrounded by mountains and the water is so clear, you can see to the bottom. The water is 99.994% pure, making it one of the purest large lakes in the world. You can ski and go sledding in the winter, and swim and hike during the summer. Lake Tahoe was originally named "Da ow a ga" by the Washoe tribe of Native Americans. Pioneers who arrived later mispronounced the name as "Da ow" which eventually evolved into Tahoe. Da ow a ga originally meant Edge of Lake. Right on the Lake is a beautiful Mansion that we toured, it was built in 1903. Hellman-Ehrman Mansion was the home of Isaias Hellman, a banker from San Francisco, who wanted a summer home near the lake. Upon his death in 1920, his youngest daughter Florence Ehrman inherited the Mansion. After her death, the estate was sold to California State Parks in 1965. I enjoyed visiting this home and hearing about its history. Swimming in the lake was so refreshing, I didn't want to get out. The view of the mountains all around just adds to the lake's majestic features. We saw so much wildlife all around us, even black bears! Our first sighting was of a bear who came near our camp in the evening, scratching on some tree bark nearby. Our second sighting was of a mama bear with her two little cubs, she climbed a tree looking for something as her babies played right beneath her. She then climbed down, looked over at us, and took off with the cubs in tow. What a remarkable scene!
I was so glad to get away for a few days and just forget about reality back home. Focusing on the beautiful sights and being involved with nature just puts things in perspective. It reminds you of what really is important, and what really doesn't matter. "At the end of the day, you can either focus on what's tearing you apart, or you can focus on what's keeping you together"
What do you say to someone with cancer? That question stumps most people, as the word "cancer" makes people feel awkward and uncomfortable. And rightly so, cancer is the 2nd leading cause of death in the United States.
When we see a person we know with cancer, do we go the other direction in order to avoid the situation? It happens to us all at times, we are afraid to say the wrong thing, or we just don't know what to do. Take note, however, that this is the time our friend or family member needs us the most, and needs comfort and reassurance the most. Lets not forget the person's family members who need support as well. I will admit, I used to squirm when I saw someone who was going through this ordeal. I just didn't know how to go about expressing my concern for them, afraid I would hurt their feelings or that something stupid would come out of my mouth.
So what can we say or do to help a cancer patient? Let's start with what Not to say.
1. You'll get through this, you are strong. 2. Just keep positive thoughts! 3. Well at least you've got the good cancer stage. 4. My uncle had cancer, he died. 5. Just remember there's always someone worse off than you. These statements only tend to trivialize their situation. So what can we say or do to help someone with cancer? I found a few suggestions from "Awake" magazine that I know helped me.. Let me just say on a personal level, a hug and a comment noting that you are thinking about the person and their family and that you are sorry for what they are going through, makes all the difference in the world. The magazine suggests that we want to put ourselves in the individual's place and find out what he/she wants and needs from us. That involves listening. When we apply the principle "every man must be swift about hearing, slow about speaking*, we want to be a good listener, be attentive and sympathetic. Don't rush to give advice or try to come up with a solution. The person may not be looking for answers but for someone who will listen with an open heart. Don't try to minimize their condition by pointing out that others have it worse, this only makes matters more difficult. Offer specific help to the person, whether it's grocery shopping, running errands, driving him/her to appointments, or helping with the children. These are ways to show that we care. If you can't visit with your friend due to distance or other circumstances, a phone call, text message, sending a card with encouraging words, are different ways to reach out. Don't forget about the other family members. I saw a quote the other day that said, "when someone has cancer, the whole family and everyone who loves them has it too", that is so true because the rest of the family will feel stress, anxiety, and will need reassurance as well. Any of the above suggestions would help make the situation a little more bearable for the person. Bottom line: hug the person, tell them that you care, and just listen. *James 1:19
https://wol.jw.org/en/wol/d/r1/lp-e/2010486?q=what+to+say+to+friend+who+is+ill&p=par
The Face of Cancer I have a scar. A scar on my right breast. I don't know how to feel about it. It's bigger than I expected, about three inches across. I know some people might reply, "Look at the bright side, at least you still have the breast, or at least you are alive". Others may think of it as a battle scar, or a sign of survival. What I know is that everyday, day after day, I will see it and it will be a constant reminder.......taking me back to the feelings I had when I first heard the words "It's cancer". I don't know how I feel about that. Cancer is not my friend, it's been an intrusion into my life. My livelihood. I now have radiation to look forward to. Who knows what else lies ahead. I've often thought, if cancer had a face, what would it look like. My first visual impression was of a monster, a scary looking monster that puts fear in those who see it or even hear it's name. Our immune system was designed to protect our bodies. It identifies foreign cells and viruses and attacks them, thus eliminating the spread of these bad cells.
After doing research on cancer, knowing that it mutates and can hide from our immune system and change its form, I don't have the same visual of cancer anymore. An article from Immuno-Oncology News describes how cancer cells evolve, accumulating and increasing in their number of mutations, and then stop secreting interleukin-33, a protein used by the immune system to recognize and target a cancerous mass. The cancer cells basically become invisible to the immune system. They then metastasize and spread throughout the body. It's almost like they blend in. A monster doesn't blend in. A monster can't blend in, it looks like a monster, right? So the face of cancer would look more like it's surroundings, like everyone else. My new visual of cancer is like the picture below. You don't really know who or what it is, or if it is friend or foe. No alarms go off. Then all of a sudden, it walks right into your life. Healthy living is now my goal for the foreseeable future. I wish I could say it's by choice. I no longer have that choice. Eating fresh fruits and vegetables, along with lean meats and carbohydrates are necessary to my treatment program. No more processed foods or packaged products. Fresh tastes best anyways, right? It's just always been easier to cook quick meals, when you're on the go. Taking vitamins and nutrients are also on the menu. A wonderful friend of mine, Stephanie, provided me with multivitamins and minerals to take daily to help build up my immune system before radiation. Vitamins can help give us nutrients that our bodies need, especially during treatments when we may not feel up to eating as much as we are accustomed to. I also have started using certain essential oils. Both the vitamins and oils are made by DoTerra, which I've used before, Essential oils can help with certain medical conditions as well, at least in my experience it has. I'm not taking any specifically for cancer, just for stability emotionally. Since I already have to exercise my upper arm muscles to help with the nerve pain, I've decided to walk everyday for at least 30 minutes. It's something my husband and I can do together. I've walked regularly in the past, but life got in the way. Now's the time to create a change, and do my best to stick with it. Hopefully walking will become a habit I keep for a lifetime, it wouldn't hurt! My last goal has to do with my mental and emotional health. I remember one of my favorite quotes, it's by Anne Frank,
"The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature." This quote is so beautifully said, and so true. Spending time around nature is soothing, calming, and a way to feel closer to God. We get to experience his wonderful creation. It gives us the opportunity to pray with no distractions and to meditate on what's truly important. Every human needs a spiritual outlet. A time to focus on the importance of life. I have spent the last few weeks researching and learning as much as possible about breast cancer, I want to be well informed for the future decisions I will have to make regarding treatment. I've also been reading about lifestyle changes, and what I could do to help my body heal. I'm not just referring to physical healing, but emotional healing as well. This cancer takes so much out of a person, both physically and emotionally. I feel drained more often than not, even though I haven't done much activity since my surgery. The other day I was flipping through some brochures given to me by the hospital, and I wondered why I was given one about exercises after surgery. Well, I finally put two and two together today. Instead of continual pain in my breast since the surgery, I've had arm and shoulder pain, so much so that I wake up at night with terrible pain and have to get up and sit for awhile. My husband says that the oncologist told me about this, well I don't remember. So here I sit, in pain, wondering what other new surprises I'll find out about. The brochure says that I may not have the full use of my arm back until 3 to 4 weeks after surgery. It also recommends talking with my doctor about physical or occupational therapy. What? Why? Reading further, it talks about how radiation may affect my arm and shoulder long after the treatment is finished and because of this, It's important to develop a regular habit of doing exercises for arm and shoulder mobility. Ok, now the article talks about the surgery. Surgery can irritate some of the nerves in the arm and shoulder area. The nerve pain may increase a few weeks after surgery---Wow. Talk about an uphill battle. This info is all new to me, I certainly don't remember my doctor talking about this. I'm kinda not happy right now. Just let me pout, ok. The results from my lumpectomy are in. The cancer has not spread. My oncologist is sure that all of the cancer cells have been removed and I won't need any more surgeries. My next step is Radiation. I don't know how much that entails, I will find out on June 30th at my next appointment. In case you may not know how radiation works, I researched radiation treatment, which is used to treat only the cancer. It is called local treatment. According to the information from Cancer.org, radiation uses high-energy rays (like x-rays) to kill cancer cells. This treatment is used to kill any cancer cells that may be left in the breast, chest, or arm pit after surgery.
There are 2 main ways radiation can be given. It can be aimed at the breast from a machine outside the body, called external beam radiation. Or radioactive seeds can be put right into the breast tissue near the cancer, which is called brachytherapy. Every article I read says that the side effects are usually mild. I surely hope so. I'm not looking forward to this part of my journey, but I know I have to ready myself. I will go 5 days a week, and treatment lasts 6-8 weeks. I'm already tired just thinking about it. My husband teases that he will have our 16 year old, who will just be getting her driver's permit, take me everyday. Lord help me! Happy thoughts, happy thoughts. 6/14/17
The day before surgery, I was surprisingly calm. I received text messages and emails and phone calls, everyone saying that they were thinking about me and praying for me. I could feel it. I've never felt calmer and more at peace than I did that day. Their prayers were answered and I am so thankful, thankful to have such a loving God who provides for us that peace that excels all thought, and thankful to have so many friends and family members who were there for me. I slept well that night, leaving me physically and mentally ready for the next day. 6/15/17 My husband and I arrived at the Outpatient Surgery building and I was admited pretty quickly. I was taken back to the prep area to change and get ready for surgery. I must say that the staff and doctors were all accommodating and reassuring during this process. I appreciated the care that I received. My nurse was especially helpful in keeping me centered and calm, I even laughed a few times, I wasn't expecting that at all. When they were ready to wheel me into surgery, my nurse gave me what he called a "cocktail" to help relax me, and I honestly don't remember anything after that. I woke up in post surgery wondering what had happened. The rest of the day I felt so groggy that I slept. I started feeling pain where the incision was, but it was manageable. 6/16/17 Friday wasn't much different, I was still feeling tired and in a little pain. I rested and tried to take it lightly. My children bought beautiful flowers for me and I smile every time I look at them. I know I still have a road ahead of me, the results of my lumpectomy will be here within a week, but for now I plan to remember all the things that I'm thankful for and dwell on those. A LESSON ON HOPEAS MY SURGERY APPROACHS.....Time to get my lab work done. Surgery is next week. Knowing that I may have a fight ahead, praying has been a tremendous help to me. Having a spiritual outlet is recommended by doctors and therapists alike, because it keeps us grounded. I can recall a bible verse that says to put our trust in God and not in our own understanding, because He can make our paths straight. At times I feel like a wounded animal, vulnerable, and constantly aware that I may have to fight for my survival. Not the best feeling in the world, that's for sure. It does help to know that God is aware of my circumstance and is ready to help. I know that everyone has their own belief system, however, these are my thoughts, coming from my mind and heart. What keeps all of us going is hope. We have hope.
My first visit with the surgeon resulted in more questions than answers. My surgery was scheduled for two weeks later, a lumpectomy. The pathologist would examine the lump to find out more information about my cancer and how to proceed from there. I feel so lost right now, almost alone, if it weren't for my husband who has been by my side the whole time. There's no easy way to deal with cancer no matter the type, whether it's early stage, or terminal. There's no easy way of telling your children you have cancer either. My husband and I decided to approach it in the most positive way we could.
We knew we had to be honest and upfront, but put a hopeful spin on it. First, I needed to call my son who lives out of state. That was hard for me. It was even harder to hear the concern in his voice. I hope that I was positive, that was my goal. Next, we called a family meeting, inviting our two adult children and son-in-law over and letting the 16 year old and 11 year old know as well. The kids were debating on what we were going to talk about, even hoping that we won the lottery or something! My husband started out by saying that we have news that may seem bad, but the outlook is a positive one so keep that in mind. He told them about the cancer and that the doctors are optimistic because of the early stage of the cancer. I read some exerts from the pamphlet I was given about my cancer in particular and focused on the positives, and on the hopes of a good turnout. This approach seemed to work, because the responses were positive. I got hugs and then talked to my younger ones individually, asking if they had any questions. Both responses were a no, they felt optimistic that I was going to get through this. Whew! My only wish at that moment was that I could have that same mentality. I'm freaking out! Enough about me though. I plan to continue talking with my children throughout my treatment, letting them know what's going on as it comes up. We are a family, we are a team. I'm so happy to have so much support in my life. I feel that I'm going to need it in the coming weeks. On Friday May 5, 2017, I was in the exam room talking with the nurse about my constant cough that had lingered on for weeks. She reminded me that I needed a mammogram and pap smear and asked if I wanted to make the appointments while I'm here today. Sure, why not. My husband had been on my case for months to call and make an appointment. I knew he would be glad to hear that I finally did.
The following Friday May 12th, I was back at the medical offices. First, the pap. The nurse practitioner informed me that if the test came back well, I would get an email, otherwise, a phone call. I left her office and went straight to radiology. Mammograms aren't pleasant, but important. I was told the same information regarding an email or a phone call. On Monday May 15th I got an email about my pap. Everything was ok. Great. Now I don't have anything to worry about. I put the tests out of my mind. On Tuesday May 16th, I had just picked up my daughter from school and my cell phone rang. It was radiology. Something came up in my mammogram and I needed to come back in again. Wait, what? This wasn't how I envisioned my story. Everything was supposed to be OK. Friday May 19th, back in radiology, another mammogram was performed. the technician asked me to sit in the waiting room while she talked to the radiologist. It seemed like an hour went by, well maybe ten minutes, she came back and said that I needed an ultrasound. Everything from that point on was a blur. The radiologist said that I have an unknown mass in my right breast and it didn't look good. She asked if I could stay for a biopsy, and next thing I know, I have papers with instructions on how to care for my incision. My life changed from that point on. Over the weekend I did nothing but research about breast cancer. I learned all about the stages, the types, the treatment options, the statistics, the logistics, the pros and cons. I ended up with a headache, heartache, and backache from sitting over a computer for hours on end. This is not possible. I don't have cancer. On Tuesday May 23rd, I got the call from the radiologist. Something about a papillary lesion and cancer cells. Something about surgery. It was at this moment that time stopped. It just stopped. |
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September 2017
AuthorSherri Dunning is a wife, mom, grandmother, and recent blogger. Follow along with her as she writes about her experience with breast cancer. |